When my five-year-old gets frustrated or angry, she yells and kicks and screams–and then she usually gets sent to her room for a time out. Today I was really frustrated and I basically did the adult equivalent. I yelled and screamed (I left out the kicking, but if I could have found someone or something to kick that wouldn’t have kicked me back, I might have done that too!) And then I gave myself a time out. I left my girls with their Dad who happened to be home today, then I went to the park and sat in my car and fumed. Then I called my Mom.
Yeah, I’m almost 40, but there are still some things only my Mom can fix. So she told me to come over and talk, and she listened, and encouraged me and gave me some homemade soup. I left happier and fuller. No, all my problems aren’t solved, and it’s probably not the last fit I’ll throw, but I’m so glad I got to have a time out. And I’m so blessed to have a Mom who loves me enough to give me one.
Maybe I’m in denial, but I just ain’t feelin’ the whole back to school thing this year. I mean, I got the new backpacks and outfits, I packed the first day of school lunch and I even put out the wreath I made last year, but alas, I am dragging my feet! 
For one thing it’s a bazillion degrees outside…excuse me weatherman, but could we get a little Fall weather to back up our change in routine please? It is quite hard to get excited about getting up early when it’s still light until 8 p.m. and the temp. is in the triple digits–just sayin’. Give me a little crisp air, a light sprinkling of rain, and maybe I could get on board, but as is, I just want to go get back in my 3 foot pool and soak until mid-October. Plus, it seems cruel to send the children out into the world when it’s this hot.
It could also be that I’m bemoaning the fact that my baby is now a First Grader, which is a big deal, because she’s not nestled in the isolated safety of Kindergarten anymore…and my oldest is in 5th Grade and next year will be off to the dreaded middle school. Yes, I’m dreading it already…I’ve been dreading since her birth 10 years ago. Jr. High was not a positive time for me, but that’s a whole other blog! Anyhoo! She loves school and can’t wait for next year.
While I try to wrap my brain around the whole thing, time just keeps marching forward and there are children to wake up at a godawful hour, lunches to pack, clothes to pick out and 6 hours of quiet, unnerving solitude every day. So yeah, I guess I’m not one of those Mom’s who relishes the start of school. As nuts as my girls drive me when they’re home, I am always sad to see them go. Because I know it’s a preview of the inevitable flying of the coup they will do far too soon for my liking. But maybe Mom just needs to take her happy pills and get a life of her own….co-dependency isn’t for the faint hearted!
I recently pitched a tent in my living room. No, not a kid’s play tent, a full-fledged 2-3 woman camping tent. I say woman because no man has ever slept in there, just me and my girls. I used the purple one the first time I took my girls camping by myself…they were 6 and not quite 2. I am woman, see me camp!
And then replaced it with one the same size a few years later. Although their Dad has gone camping with us a couple times since, he has never stayed in the infamous orange tent (since we wouldn’t all fit in there!) so it remains a “Girls Only” tent!
Anyway, last summer I had the ingenious idea of pitching the aforementioned tent in my living room, because although backyard camping sounds like a great idea, it is just too darn hot in this town in the summer to do that. And the girls remembered me doing that and asked me to do it again. So, I moved the coffee table to the corner and voila, Camp Whitten was re-born! All the joys of camping without those minor annoyances like bugs and dirt. Not that we mind those, but in this case, it’s a dirt-free camp out!
And here are my Happy Campers!
There’s just something so wonderful about being tucked inside your own little hide-out. As kids we used my Grandma’s sheets and blankets, her furniture and the corners of her house. She would let us take over when we stayed with her, never limiting our imaginations. She was such a nurturing spirit and I hope I am at least a tiny bit like the wonderful person she was.
Happy Camping!
It seems like just a few weeks ago I was writing my first day of school blog http://www.seemomblog.com/?p=140 and now the year is over! My Kindergartener is a 1st grader!
The tears I cried on the first day of school, walking away and leaving her for that first 3 1/2 hours, have been replaced by the tears of watching her walk across the stage as a graduate. And having to leave behind her wonderful teacher, her sweet classmates and another year.
She is less of a baby now. She will never again be brand new to school. Being 5 is such a special time and I wish I could freeze her there. The other day she told me she didn’t want me to get any older, so I told her I’d make her a deal, if she would stay 5 I would stay 39. It seemed like a win-win to me. But later she told me, “Mom, I can’t help it, my body just grows up.” How can you argue with that?
And she has grown leaps and bounds this year, blossoming as a person. She is so kind to her friends, always looking out for them and offering compassion when needed. And although she has her self-proclaimed “BFF Club” she includes anyone who wants to play with them, which is something I love about her.
All the stages of her life have been precious to me, but I guess this is just another in a long line of firsts that have turned into lasts. She will never be a Kindergartener again, but then there are so many things left for her to be….
Just over 10 years ago I became a Mom for the first time. It was surreal…and some days it still is. I mean, who are these children and why are they calling me Mom? What I mean is, how did I get put in charge? I don’t know what I’m doing! Okay, so I have a few nurturing bones in my body, but I’m also impatient and selfish at times and well, maybe not the best woman for the job. EXCEPT! Someone in their infinite wisdom chose to entrust these little beings to me. To love and care for and, well, screw up slightly. I’m not the best Mom in the world and I’m not the worst…I’m just their Mom and for what it’s worth, it’s the best job I’ve ever had.
It took me all 8 months of my pregnancy to wrap my brain around being a mother…and even then I wasn’t sure I wanted to go through with it. But then there she was, 4 weeks early. This sweet, tiny, dependent little thing, and she stole my heart. And 4 years and 4 months later (exactly) her younger sister stole it all over again! It’s like someone once said, “To be a Mother is to forever have your heart go walking around outside your body”
My heart truly belongs to them. 99% of what I do and why I do it is for them. And that other 1% can be theirs pretty quickly if they ask me just right. I never wanted them to suffer or feel pain…rejection, fear, none of it. I wanted to protect them from everything, handle them with ‘kid gloves’ and keep them in a padded tower. But I couldn’t. And it’s funny how things work out. You gradually learn to release your hold on them. Not all at once and certainly not entirely, but, well, baby steps. A couple hours at Grandma’s, a few hours in Pre-School, half a day in Kindergarten, and overnight at a friend’s in 4th grade.
It’s subtle, because I think God knew it would be too painful to rip off the bandage of motherhood all at once. He knows that we are forever tied to these little people in a way no other person ever will be. And yet, it is our very love for them that gives us the courage to let them go and become their own person. Because we want the very best for them. We can’t wait to see what they will do and to what heights they will rise. Because we, their Mothers, know better than anyone what they are capable of. We are their biggest cheer leaders and their biggest critics, and the two combined, hopefully equip them to live up to their full potential. I hope when my girls are grown they will remember me telling them that they could be whatever they wanted to be when they grew up…because that is my genuine hope for them and I try to communicate it to them in some way every day….
Ten years ago, around 11 a.m., I was awake but hadn’t gotten out of bed yet when I felt a sudden gush…”Uh, I think my water just broke,” I told my husband. Not only was I supposed to have a baby shower that day, my due date was still 4 weeks away. But as I have learned many times since then, life waits for no one…and neither do babies. So I got up and made some calls, got into the shower, and consulted my list of things to take with me. Some of my family members got to the hospital before I did. I guess I wasn’t in much of a rush. I wasn’t having contractions so I wasn’t too worried. Once I got settled in, they checked me and the nurse said “That’s not a head.” Having never been through the experience before, it didn’t occur to me immediately what she meant. Then they told me, she was a footling breech and they’d have to do a C-section. I think my sisters were more freaked out than I was. All I knew was I’d be getting drugs and avoiding labor, something I hadn’t anticipated. I was actually kind of relieved, because I could wrap my brain around what was going to happen. At least on some level. At 2:45 that afternoon, with Joni Mitchell’s Blue playing in the background, my sweet Sequoia made her entrance into the world and I have never ever been the same.
She is beautiful, inside and out. Amazingly artistic and has a set of pipes that already overshadow my own voice. And she speaks her mind (even when she shouldn’t) But I love that she is strong and sure of herself and doesn’t let anyone push her around. She is stubborn (like her Mom) and has her own way of doing things, like entering the world upside down…and ever since she arrived, she’s been turning our world on its ear, in a good way.
I cannot believe 10 years have already passed. It seems like yesterday I held her in my arms, and also like way too long ago since I could solve all her problems and meet all her needs. But no matter how old she is, she will always be my baby, my first born and my pride and joy. 
Happy 10th Birthday Sequoia June!
I love you! Mama
Trying to get my girls to settle down and go to sleep last night, I was laying in bed with them reading a book. My 9 year old had a book also, so my 5 year old got out of bed to go get “her” book. I watched with pride as she sounded out and read the pages of one of her favorite Maisy books. It is so amazing the way learning to read opens up the world for a child. I remember being so in awe when my oldest reached this milestone, but I must admit, I have kind of taken it more for granted this time around. For one thing, with her older sister, I was doing the teaching (or trying to!) since we were home-schooling. And with my baby, she has learned at school. Of course, I read to her at night and she reads to me too, but she has just progressed slowly and surely over the past 8 months and subtly become an independent reader. 
Which brings me to the fact that my Kindergartener isn’t going to be a Kindergartener very much longer. And as hard as it was to send her off last August, it’s going to be even harder to watch her finish her first year of school. It is bitter- sweet. Because it’s the end of an era. She will never be this little again, this fresh to school. Plus, she has a wonderful teacher, one of the very best in my opinion, so that also makes it hard to say goodbye. 
The thing is, these years slip by so quickly. I remember thinking, when she was born, that her older sister would be a 4th grader by the time her baby sister started school. Now my oldest is going to be 10 and a 5th grader! After which is middle school, GULP! Where does the time go? I miss their babyhood. As hard and tiring as it was at times, there was something so great about being the center of their universe. 
Still, I’m glad that they love school, that they’re happy, well-adjusted girls. They have so many exciting things ahead of them. And although their journey away from me can be hard at times, I am blessed to get to go along for the ride.
Once a month these cool nutrition ladies come to my daughter’s school and teach them about eating healthy foods and the ‘rainbow of color’ which encourages them to eat all kinds of fruits and vegetables (It’s a grant our school got for K-2nd) http://www.fruitsandveggiesmorematters.org/
Anyway, she is always relaying to me stories about the cool things they make in her 5-year-old vernacular, so I don’t always get the entire concept, but still, I think it’s really cool and she loves it when they visit. SO, a couple weeks ago I happened to be there volunteering in her classroom the day they came to do a demo and so I got to experience it first hand. It was my lucky day, because they made fresh salsa! Wow! It was de-LISH and so easy.
Even though they didn’t give out a recipe, I gleaned enough from the lesson to try it myself at home. My daughter helped me pick out the ingredients at the store and mix it all up in our Ninja food processor and it was soooo yummy!
We used tomatoes, white onion, cilantro, limes and just the skin and fruit of a jalapeno…by removing the ribs and the seeds inside, you take away the spiciness, unless of course you want it really spicy! Also, did you know, if it has seeds, it’s a fruit, otherwise, it’s a vegetable. So tomatoes are a fruit. Veggies grow in the ground.
Yes, I love salsa, and yes, I have gone 39 years without ever trying to make it. As you may have gathered from most of my posts, domesticity doesn’t came naturally to me. But I was so excited to have finally learned how to make it and my daughter was excited to help (she’s the real cook in the family). It was a great experience all the way around! Needless to say, we will be utilizing this new-found knowledge often because it is tomato season! Woo hoo! We’re even gonna grow some of the ingredients in our garden so we can make it from scratch! Ain’t life spicy?!
For a recipe and step by step directions, check out the blog chef http://blogchef.net/page/2/?s=cilantro
My sister was telling me about this crafty blog called www.thriftydecorchick.blogspot.com where this woman does cute and crafty stuff around her house and then shares her secrets. My sis said that it reminded her of me and that I should post some pictures of some of my creations. So, here goes nothing…
I have long been a fan of decorating my home–ever since I was a kid, in fact, I have been making my space my own. From an early age I collected, well, everything! My friend Cathy and I used to joke that if you have 3 of something, you have a collection. Although I still have way too much good stuff, I have chilled a little over the years. Now I either try to not buy everything I see or I rotate my obsessions. For a while I was on a Campbell’s Soup kick–Andy Warhol style. I had found some cute salt and pepper shakers at Walmart a couple years back for $3, a matching vintage tomato soup can bank at a yard sale and the coordinating print at Michael’s. But, I got tired of it. So off it went to my re-sale space at a local antique store.
But mainly, it was because I had recently found a great reusable bag (those are all the rage now) that I turned it into a work of art. My kitchen colors are basically red and yellow and have been for a while. I love those colors a lot and yellow just makes me happy, it’s so sunny! Anyway, for many years I had a black and white and red and cherries theme going on (think Mary Engelbreit, who I have loved since the late ’80’s, before she was mainstream). But I have recently moved on to lemons. Mostly because of this great piece of art I found at my favorite French store, Tarjay (a.k.a. Target) a couple years ago. I also realize that a lot of my art/ideas center themselves around sayings I like…I attribute this to the fact that I am a writer and I love words. So, you may notice a theme evolving. Anyway, I found this reusable bag at Michael’s for $3, bought a red metal scrapbook frame for $5, also at Michael’s and a piece of scrapbook paper for less than a buck, which I used for the background. Total cost, less that ten bux! I chose the bag for two reasons. 1) I LOVED what it said “I only have a kitchen because it came with the house” That sooo sums me up! AND it’s colors–red and yellow…two of my signature colors, as you already know! The result was this lovely and unique piece of art that now hangs above my stove and makes me happy.
Also in the kitchen I filled a giant glass jar with lemons (they’re real right now, but eventually I’ll replace them with faux) to compliment the artwork I already had hanging above it.
And the piece de resistance, the wonderful artwork of Rodney White www.rodneywhite.com
Not only are these colors delicious, but it takes the whole ‘Make Lemonade Out of Lemons” sentiment to a whole new level.
Another cheap idea my sisters and I have used in varying ways, is a dish towel as a curtain. All you need is a cute towel (or towels–depending on how big the window you are covering is) some cafe hooks/clips and a spring rod. You can get the rod and hooks for under $10 total at Target or Walmart and the towel you may already have. I used this Retro-style California Map towel to cover the window on my back door. This doesn’t prevent the light from coming in, but makes me feel like I’m not totally exposed, especially at night…plus it’s cute!
And finally, one more piece of word-eye-candy that makes doing the dishes almost bearble.
If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t NOBODY Happy! Ain’t it the truth? Well, at least around here it is! I hope you’ve enjoyed some of my ideas–of course we all have our own spin on decorating–these are just meant to inspire. Stay tuned for upcoming blogs on Living Room and Bathroom decor.
I remember hearing a few years back that kid’s homework has gotten harder, the load larger. At the time I don’t think my oldest was even in school so I didn’t really think too much about it. But then came 4th grade! Even in 2nd grade, she had two pages of homework per night—in my day, I usually finished all my work before I left school. But I’ve come to realize that the two pages a night are nothing compared to the stinkin’ projects they keep assigning. Science Fair: Mandatory! And if that wasn’t enough to keep my head spinning for the rest of the year, along comes the Missions Projects…yes, that’s plural. While the kids did the bulk of the writing and research in class, they also had to complete 3 projects, out of 9 options given, outside of class. In other words, I was responsible for making sure 3 projects got done within a month’s time.
At first I thought, how hard can it be to build a mission model? I was actually kinda excited. And then I read the fine print: No Kits Allowed! What?! Are you kidding me? But even if we could have used them, I probably would’ve needed a co-signer to pay for all the materials and props. So I considered a diorama—I’m picturing a shoe-box with some stuff thrown in it for effect, right? But apparently it’s supposed to be a 3-dimensional model…huh? Isn’t that the same thing as a model-model? And what do you mean I have to include examples of the mission’s vegetation, animals, landforms and human dwellings?! How the h-e double toothpicks am I supposed to know what those look like? Not to mention figure out how to make them out of popsicle sticks and glue.
Another option was a painting. Cool, I thought. My daughter is artistic, this will be a snap. But apparently she is also a perfectionist and so she kept telling herself she couldn’t do it. Thankfully an artistic friend finally stopped by and helped her bang out a drawing—then I spent the next two days trying to get her to paint the thing. Okay, one down, two to go. Map of California? Sure, why not—oh wait, Draw said map? Label all 21 missions? Okay. Include California regions? Huh? What? And a legend? You mean like Paul Bunyan? He was a legend, right? NEXT! Create a 3-day journal entry from the perspective of an Indian—uh, yeah, woke up today, was lured to mission where I was then told my entire belief system and way of life is wrong, was pushed into converting, then assigned duties planting crops and tending to animals that aren’t even my own. No thanks! Mini Book—Make a drawing of 3 missions with 3 facts about each mission. Really? Like I want to have to research two missions we haven’t already done? Uh, moving along. Write a song to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat and B-I-N-G-O…BINGO! That I can do! Cheesy, but easy! Write a news article—did I mention I have a degree in that? Done and Done!
So yeah, I survived the mission project and now it’s only 4 more years until I get to do it again! But what I want to know is, what exactly did my kid learn from all this? When I did this same project 30 years ago, I did a write up in pencil and a crayon drawing. That’s it. Oh yeah, and we got to go on a field trip to one of the missions. But what do these kids get as a reward for all their hard work? Nada! Sorry, there’s no money for a trip this year—so congratulations, you’re the proud owner of a diorama that will collect dust in the hall closet until your parents get up the nerve to throw it in the trash a few years from now. What’s the lesson in that?