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Melanie Made Me Do It!

September23

My friend and I were talking the other day about labels. Not the kind you put on jars, the kind we apply to ourselves and others. I was saying how I always feel weird when people refer to me as a writer. I guess I feel like I have to be a certain kind of writer with a certain level of success to slap that title onto the front of my name. And then last night, another friend called me the “W” word. She asked if I’d been blogging regularly and told me I better be. I told her not really and she made me promise to blog at least once a week.  So I’m gonna try to honor that promise. http://melaniecrutchfield.com/

The thing is, I have an inferiority complex. I read others’ blogs and think, wow, how dynamic, how inspiring, how creative. And then I feel like mine is so flat. What do I have to say that’s so profound? Does anyone even read these? Am I even funny? The truth is, I’m envious of the succesful blog-hers. Who have ‘made’ it, so to speak. Whose blogs have been featured on Huffington Post or talked about in the blogosphere.  I’m just a little old writer in no-mans-land rambling about her kids and her failings at motherhood. And really, honestly, I started this blog for myself. As a way to chronicle my girls’ lives, remember some of the funny stuff they’ve said, or the struggles we’ve faced together.  I wasn’t expecting a Pullitzer prize, but a bit of a following and a comment from someone other than my sister, occasionally, would be nice.

But I’m not ambitious. I never have  been and at this point in my life, I doubt I ever will be.  So I just put it out there and if it’s well-received, awesome. If not, so be it. I was the same way with my music, back when I actually wrote songs on a regular basis and played for live audiences. I was just telling my story, relating my struggles and my triumphs. And if someone else could identify, well, then that was just icing on the cake.  So I don’t expect I’ll ever have much of a following. But that’s okay. Because as Anais Nin put it, “We write to taste life twice.” And I love savoring life’s morsels.

One Comment to

“Melanie Made Me Do It!”

  1. On September 23rd, 2012 at 10:09 pm cayswann Says:

    Okay. Allow me to smack you lovingly. EACH of us feels like this — that comparison burden of “see her? she’s awesome? not me… *sigh*”

    You wanna know why? Because you are the ONLY person living in your head. You’re not living in someone else’s head. You cannot hear them dealing with nagging doubts, self-image issues, running late, being busy, being tired, being uninspired. The ONLY thing you see of everyone else is their exterior and their efforts to communicate…. and then you only hear it through the filter of your head, your brain, your eyes, your ears.

    Dearheart. We like your exterior. We like your efforts to communicate. Because each of us is *also* trapped in our own heads, and we’re each struggling with our own burdens. When you choose to share something with us, it’s a gift-wrapped suprise present, just for me.

    Thank you for giving me a present today. It was a treat to hear from you — even if you were just sharing a bit of your internal struggles and external poking form Melanie. Yay you. Yay Melanie. Yay friends. Yay internet and blogs and typing and computers and stuff.

    Yay.

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